Cuddles: The Old Poodle (Oldie but a Goldie)

Cuddles was an aged poodle, who got lost in a game reserve.

Wandering about, Cuddles notices a young virile leopard heading in her
direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh,
oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard
is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, terror
overcomes him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard,
"That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard in the future. So off he goes, but the old
poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with  the leopard, spills
the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and I'll show you what's going to happen to that
conniving old canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming back with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?"  but instead of  running, Cuddles
sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't see them yet,
and just when they get close enough to hear,  the old poodle says: "Where's
that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story: Bullshit and brilliance come only with age and
experience ..... so don't mess with the old ones