A Smart Texan.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera, Texas.

After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated
that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a
few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an
eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man
managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes
as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
fine, dry summer night) -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of
times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He
moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron
vehicles left.

At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking lot and
started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having
patiently
waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing
lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer
test
To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having
consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to
ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment
must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight, I'm the designated
decoy"