• An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into small
  village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He
  figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi; Can I talk to
  your dog?

Villager: The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.

Ventriloquist: Hello dog, how's it going mate?

Dog: Doin' all right.

Villager: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: Is this villager your owner? (pointing at the villager)
Dog: Yep

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes
me to the lake once a week to play.

Villager: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse?

Villager: Uh, the horse doesn't talk either..I think.

Ventriloquist: Hey horse, how's it going?

Horse: Cool

Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (pointing at the villager)

Horse: Yep

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

Villager: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your sheep?

Villager: (in a panic) The sheep's a liar.