May. 21, 2006 - Back again with a crap-attack!
Right next to my department at work we have the Cafe. They have a bathroom attached that both staff and customers use. Late this afternoon I wandered in there. Of the 3 cubicles, 2 of them were blocked off with sanitary bins because they had been clogged. As I approached the middle one I realised there was poo SMEARED on the seat.
Generally I avoid these toilets and for good reason- they're known among my colleagues and I as the "Poo Microwave". There is no air flow and I am now completely convinced that the members of Explosive Diahorea-ers Anonymous have declared a secular-ji had on this territory. The sights and scents that have attacked me over the past 18months of my employment have made each of my visits equally regrettable. I really have to stop going there but each time I have a traumatising experience I avoid it for a fortnight or so. In that time the memories fade and I tell myself that the general public are capable of using toilets without leaving turd all over the place. But then I go there and its like someone took a shit in a blender, didn't put the lid on and switched it to the highest setting. SPLAT!
I am deeply disturbed at the idea that one of our customers not only seemed to a) be doing up her shoelaces while mid-bog and shot it all over the seat but b) They did not clean up after themselves c) They smeared it.
Whoever you are, it's not just your ass that is sick, it's your head too. I only hope that karma works its magic and the love of your life gives you a Cleveland Steamer while you're sleeping.
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