Jan. 30, 2007 - Why you should always be nice to me..

You know how when you’re little, your Mum says you have to be nice to the kids who are a little ‘different’ to everyone else? Sometimes even forcing you to invite them to your birthday? Well this forms the principle of why you should treat me with kindness, patience and with an unprecedented level of condescension.

In retrospect, I’m glad my Mum made me invite these kids along because now I am one and also because I hate seeing people left out…..and I don’t know why, but I also get really upset when I see people eating on their own. At work I always have lunch on my own and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, so I don’t know why I always get the urge to invite complete strangers to join me and my friends when they’re chomping away (probably in a perfectly happy state) on their lunch.

So why do you have to always be nice to me?

Mainly because I’m just really fucking special. Recent events have made me wonder whether my level of specialness will escalate with my age.

SPECIAL MOMENT #1:

Several weeks ago I was very sick (I even missed Switch at the Laundry while I died slowly in feverish isolation on my bed, wanting nothing more than my Mum to come and sit next to me on my bed and….well I didn’t want her to do anything. Just sit there and make me feel like the world revolved around me). When I regained some normality and the deluded conversations with myself ceased, I rented out Season 3 of Little Britain. I got home from the video store (I recently posed the question to my parents- will young kids call it the DVD store?) I put the disc in and retreated to my death bed for some comedy relief. I turned on the TV and wandered around the DVD menu. I see a Richard and Judy interview with the 2 stars but no episodes. So I watched the interview and thought it was intriguing to see what they looked like normally (I’ve never seen a human look quite so much like an egg as Matt Lucas. He’s even outdone Fester and Pugsley).

After the interviews are done I continue to peruse the menu: Deleted Scenes. I watched some of these and while they were quite comical, I felt they’d be a little funnier had I seen the actual episodes. Where are the damn episodes?

Again, I look around the menu screen: David Walliams on Top Gear, Radio 4 Heresy Episode, Little Britain Night Highlights. Still no episodes.

I continue to search: South Bank Show Special Programme…WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE EPISODES.

I go around and around in circles trying to find the stupid episodes. I give up and call my friend Forey because I know his Dad owns the box set. After a little chit chat I cut to the chase

ME: Hey you know how you have the Little Britain DVD at home?

FOREY: yeah

ME: Well I’ve hired them out and I want to watch the episodes.

FOREY: Yeah…..

ME: But I’ve been looking around on the DVD for like 15minutes and I can’t find the episodes anywhere. I can see deleted scenes and interviews and special appearances on shows but I can’t find the fucking episodes!

FOREY: Lissie….

ME: Yes…

FOREY: Do you have the Special Features disc in instead of the regular one?

SPECIAL MOMENT #2

For Christmas I was the proud recipient of an iRiver. I went with this mp3 player because frankly I’m sick of the unreliability of iPods and lots of smart/technologically inclined friends of mine have iRivers. I like to flirt with the idea that I’m mildly savvy when it comes to technology (despite having once lost a CD in my CD Rom…don’t ask me how. All I know is that when I put it in, the CD was in the little tray, it made some odd noises when I closed it and when the little tray came out the fucker was GONE. I’m yet to retire the thought that Houdini and a bunch of his magical mates are somewhere in After Life Land still snickering at me).

So…back to the iRiver. I have been very pleased with this product thus far except the battery life sucks. I would listen to it on the way to work, turn it off when I got there, turn it on when I was done and listen to it on the way home. No problems. However, when I stayed over night somewhere, if I had it turned off for prolonged periods of time, when I went to turn it back on, the battery would be dead! Since when does keeping a device turned OFF run down the battery? For those who don’t know me to well, the very idea of having to listen to the radio while driving is about as appealing as having bamboo planted beneath my nails.

So for the last month or so this has been massively annoying because I’ve spent many nights staying out a peoples places and on embarking on the drive home, found the battery is dead.

I’ve complained about this to many friends and last week purchased a car charger for it. It wasn’t very expensive so I don’t mind too much but it’s the principle of it! I changed to iRiver to avoid the crapiness of iPods only to be met with other crapiness.

Anyway, last night I was studying till well into the night. At 1am I noticed my iRiver suddenly turn on and start to record Triple J. Then it dawned on me- the night when I was incredibly sick my friends had a set of theirs being broadcasted on Triple J at 1am. So I had set my iRiver to record their set. What I hadn’t done was turn off this setting. So every night at 1am, my iRiver has been switching on and recording until the little bugger had run dry. And it only took me a month to realise....

SPECIAL MOMENT #3

I must admit I rarely look at other people's blogs. I've noticed Nastykindagal blogging but haven't actually read any of hers. It's only today that I realised her name is Nasty-kinda-gal....this whole time I thought she was Germanic....

So yeah, remember to invite me to your birthday parties!

Feb. 5, 2007 - Untitled Comment