Aug. 3, 2005 - Well isn't there some sort of safety mechanism??

17.29. Sixty seconds to go. My work colleague, Debbie and I wait attentively near the large opening that connects our department store to the greater shopping centre. The sound of clinking coins can be heard as our fellow customer service representatives do the final count of the registers for the end of day procedures. We smile at each other as the sound waves of synthesized chimes flow through the book shelves and piles of manchester goods around us and a voice sounds

"Attention please, customers, thank you for shopping with us. The time is now five-thirty pm and we have concluded trading for the day". Debbie proceeds to walk into the small room where she fits a key into a hole, turns it and pushes the red button with a downward arrow on it. Meanwhile I keep watch to ensure everything is clear from the roller door that is making its way to the ground. The motorised rumble continues until the door is about a foot from the ground when suddenly there is a voice yelling...
"Wait my car is parked on the roof I have to get through this door"

Six feet appear near the door, 2 large and 4 small. Having had my bowl of obvious this morning, I reply loudly

"THIS DOOR IS CLOSED, YOU HAVE TO USE THE ENTRANCE ONE FLOOR DOWN"

The door is almost touching the ground when one of the larger feet places itself in the way, the door continues rolling down until it is touching with the foot. The motorised rumble stops and 3 voices can be heard
"MY FOOT!!!! MY FOOT!!! THE DOOOR IS ON MY FOOOOT!!!"

"GET THE DOOOR OFF MY MUM'S FOOOT!"

"HER FOOTS UNDERNEATH THE DOOR!"

Debbie pops out with a triumphant smile until she hears the voices and darts back into the small room, inserts the key and mashes down the green button with the upward arrow. The motorized rumble sounds once more as the door lifts revealing a leg attached to each of the feet, then the bodies of two young boys and an overweight woman's body. Before long a bulbous, flushed, alarmed face appears. The motorized rumble stops

"I was calling to this girl that my car is on the roof and she didnt do anything"

"Yes I said the door was closing in case you hadn't noticed"

Debbie appears along with the manager Lyn. The ruddy woman turns to Debbie

"You shut the door on my foot!"

"The door was closing and you stuck your foot under the door"

"Doesnt it have some sort of safety mechanism so it stops if it touches something"

Silently I thought "Yes you dumb bitch, its called your brain. If an automatic door is closing you don't put your foot under it to stop it. Unfortunately you seem to be void of that particular safety feature".

"Well," she continued, "that's a real hazard"

"Generally we don't anticipate people placing parts of their body beneath a closing door in an attempt to make it stop".

"Well my car is on the roof!"

"All the internal lifts are closed at 530"

"How am I supposed to get to my car??!!"

"You can go up the shopping centres lifts and walk around. Its about 50metres extra"

"You have got to be kidding me" she said in a huff.

Funnily enough I was thinking the same thing, but alas, she was not. What a total moron.

Aug. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment