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Lissie's Blog

Aug. 3, 2005 - Blaggers- The people I love to hate.

I doorbitched again on Sunday night at my favourite party in Sydney, PORNO COMBO! With the party's first international, Jason Hodge's playing, the blaggers were out in full force with their efforts about as effective as pissing into the wind considering there was absolutely no guest list. This one was my favourite:

At about 1am, two large guys dressed in all black appear, dripping with sheer wank and say

"Hey we're here for the Paramount movie premiere"

"Does this look like a cinema?"

"I don't think you understand, we are guests for the Paramount Movie Premiere for Blah Blah that's been on today at Fox Studios".

"This.   isnt.   a.   cinema"

"I know its not a cinema but we're not paying to get in"

"Then I guess you're not coming in. We have no guest list tonight because an international is playing. So if you're not prepared to pay, you won't be staying here much longer"
"Listen honey, I don't think you understand, we are guests at the PARAMOUNT MOVIE PREMIER" and with that he pulls something from his pocket and hands it to me "There is our invite"

"Listen honey, this looks like a crumpled piece of paper thats been pissed on". I open it up and sure enough it says some shit about a movie premier. "That's very nice and I hope you had a great time but that means absolutely nothing here. You still have to pay to get in".

They were thrown out by security about a minute later.

 

 

Later on a group of people show up with one girl fronting it who looked like she thought she was leading a rally full of feminist, under-grads.

"Hey guys its $15 to get in"

"FIFTEEN BUCKS! ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"Yes and we have an international playing tonight"

"But theres ten of us"

"So that will be $150"

"Don't we get some sort of discount?"

"Why would you get a discount?"

"Because there's ten of us" she said with a snarl

"Are you expecting economies of scale at the door of a night club? It's $15 each. There is no discount unless one of you is an amputee with half a body in which case it would be $7.50"

"That's disgusting"

"And it's still $15 to get in"

 

After she removed her finger and paid to get in with her friends in tow, one of her companions quietly said to me

"Sorry she has been in Asia and is used to bartering"

"Ahhh I see. Well you might want to inform her she's back in Australia".

 

 

 

And as you know, I have some what of a soft spot for gurners. At one point in the night I went into the toilet to find a girl at the mirror, looking like her face was about to melt off, battling to get her leg into the sink in an attempt wash her foot.

"Ummm are you ok?"

"Yeah thanks babe, Im just trying to wash my foot".

"O.K. Why is that?"  and with that she starts PISSING herself laughing

"OMG this is kind of embarrassing now but I bet I'll be laughing about it tomorrow. Oh wait I'm laughing about it now!" (more giggles).

"Well, you promise not to tell anyone?"

"No, but tell me anyway"

"OK, well Im a bit smashed" (COULD HARDLY TELL!) "and when I walked into the toilet I sort of got a bit confused, so I stepped over the toilet seat and put my foot in the toilet"

"Why did you do that?"

"I don't know. It was sort of like I was conquering it. You know like in cartoons when they discover land, put a flag in it and then put one foot up? Well I sort of did that".

 


Aug. 3, 2005 - hahah

Posted by alexandre
awesome night lissie!!!

you are the ULTIMATE door bitch!!!

xxx
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Aug. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by skywalkin_
"LAY OFF THE DRUGS BITCH!"

lub you long time lissie. always so much fun to work with you rofl
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Aug. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Alexxx_
hahaha gotta love that.... i always seem to get the people that come up and say 'im here to see the owner'

"i don't care, the owners not putting on the night and the owner's not paying for the act"
"well ill just call him"
"then fuck off and do it outside because people are trying to get in"
*evil eyes*

fkn stooges.

And i had an altercation with some american tourists a few weeks ago.
"what kinda music are you playing"
"hard trance"
"how much?"
"$10"
"im not paying that"
"TURN AORUND AND FUCK OFF YOU IGNORANT SHITZZZZ!!"

They don't really ask me to do the door anymore :(
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Aug. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by ash jamo
economies of scale at a nightclub. pure gold lissie!
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Aug. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Andrew Wowk
So when do I get in free? :P
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Aug. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Lissie
Come down on Sunday and I will see what I can do. Bring that bitch, Jimmy with you :P.
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Aug. 7, 2005 - gday

Posted by SoLaCeLL
well done my dear friend .......
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Aug. 15, 2005 - hahaha thats awesome

Posted by legless
the only blog worth reading! :D
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