A bunch of gurners have been out partying for a friends farewell. The group is made up of about 20 people, 17 of whom are all close friends and the other 3 (guys) are friends of the dude whose going away. Eager to keep feeling the love amongst the group, they decide to all go back to a friend's place. So they organise who is going in what car and off they go.

They all arrive back at the house and as Katie is walking towards the front door along the driveway, she notices a pretty good looking guy (unfortunately he is gurning up a storm) who she hasnt met. They quickly introduce themselves and she continues on in. Katie is sits on the floor with an old friend of hers, Lee, who plonks himself in front of her, grabs her hands, puts them on his shoulders and says "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE  Katie can I have a massage, I will give you one back?" Katie doesn't mind being such a dirty gurner and starts giving him a massage.

After a couple of minutes, she realises Tom (the guy she just met from the driveway) is wiggling in to fit between her and the wall. She shuffles forward a but until he is right in there behind her. So close his pecks, stomach and johnson can be felt along her back. Katie tries to wiggle forward some more because she only just met this dude and can pretty much feel what he had for breakfast "No no it's ok, just stay there and let me give you a massage" he whispers into her ear. Still pretty trashed, she obliges and sort of relaxes into the massage and forgets about his cock in her back. Soon the massage moves around along her stomach and down her arms and onto her legs....some more words and breathed into her ear..

"Would you pash me?"

"Ummmm probably not"  Katie says back suprised

"Oh ok"

Katie tries to squirm forward somemore but good old Lee is really into his massage and is leaning up against her. Katie's hair is brushed aside and there are more whispers

"Then would you let me seduce you?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA DEFINITELY NOT HAHAHAHA!"

"Shoosh, you don't have to be so rude about it!" Tom tries to settle her incase other people ask what she is laughing at

"Oh come on...have you ever actually said that line to a girl and she hasn't pissed herself laughing?"

"Yes!"

"Sorry buddy, you just picked the wrong girl"

With that Katie got up and sat with her friends on the couch and tried hard not to laugh and blurt the whole story out while Tom was still in the room and more than aware of her presence.

My understanding of seduction is that you're supposed to get the person in the sack without them really being aware of it....i.e. NOT ASKING THEM .

A girl was working behind a bar at a club when a guy comes up to her

"Hey how's it going?"

"Good thanks"

"My friend was wondering if he could have your number?"

"Which friend is that?"

"Oh the one I was with before"

"I don't know who that is"

"Well he was with me before and he's sort of shy and it's his birthday so he's a bit out of it"

"What does he plan on doing with a girl's number if he doesn't even have the balls to talk to her? I can tell that's going to be a wicked conversation ...' Hello?'  *Silence*"

"Well he will probably message you".

"Oh even better! 'Hey how you going? It's the guy who couldn't find his balls to come and speak to you. How was the rest of your night? I would have come and ask but...well you know".

"Far out you're a bitch. Forget about it".

I feel sorry for guys because a lot of the time they're expected to make the first move but seriously, some people really need to refine their methods!