Sep. 23, 2005 - "Does it remind you of something else?"

I flew down to Melbourne last weekend so I could go out with some friends to my favourite club in the whole wide world- Honkytonks. Naturally, my friends and I all got stupidly drunk which carried on to the next day. We were all just chilling out in our nice apartment and then everyone started to get hungry. So Becy and I got dressed and headed out on a mission.

We spied a 711 and went in. I was getting money out of the ATM and Becy, who was a little further into the shop, turned around grinning and said

"Come here, Liss, I know what we can get everyone"

"Hang on, a sec"

"Nah, Liss come and have a look"

Finally, the money was spat out of the ATM and I walked towards Becy. She raised her hand and pointed at something. I looked over at it

dark brown

shrivelled

oilly

rotating

There lay the most godawful frankfurt I have ever seen in my 22 year-long life. There it sat, the last one left rotating in its own oil-excrement. Most frankfurts I had seen in the past had been a reddy-orange colour. This little fellow was dark brown. Most frankfurtst I had seen in the past, had a firm outerskin like they were about to burst given half a chance, this was whithered, shrivelled and reminded me of a 94year old American-Indian.

What was funniest about it was the fact that this sad little sausage was on the part of the heating racks reserved for those that were in their "Warming Up" stage of their comsumative-life cycle. It made me wonder what had to happen to make it graduate to "Ready to Eat". I turned to Becy with a puzzled look and said

"The thing that really confuses me is......how on earth do they manage to make a profit when theyre only $2.50 each!"

We were in absolute hysterics. Becy managed  to compose herself enough to collecte the items we had come for.

Crunchtime. As we approached the counter to pay, we were still in fits of giggles. The man behind the counter who was of Indian decent queried us

APU: What is so funny?

BECY: Nothing...nothing 

Becy and I burst out laughing.

APU: "No please tell me if there is something you find funny!"

BECY: Well mate, it's that hot dog

Becy and I burst out laughing.

APU: What about it?

BECY: I think it's has had it

Becy and I burst out laughing.

APU: Oh you think there is something wrong with it?

BECY: Don't you?

APU: No I don't think so

BECY: Well put it this way, I wouldn't eat it!

APU: Oh I can't tell if there is anything wrong with it because I don't eat them

Oh well that's OK then! Clearly you can't tell just by looking at it that it's not just a tad dated

BECY: So you don't think it looks like there is anything wrong with it?

APU: I don't know, so you think I should move it?

BECY: No way man! Leave it! It's awesome!

APU: Or are you laughing because it reminds you of something else?

BECY: Ummm sorry?

Becy tries to hand over her money, but Apu stands still and smiles at her

APU: Tell me what it reminds you of.

Becy thrusts the money towards his hand

APU: Tell me! Does it remind you of something else? Tell me? I want to know... He says with a devious grin

Becy and I absolutely cack ourselves laughing. He finally accepts the money and we exit still pissing ourselves.

We get a little way down the street when I realise that I had completely forgotten to buy the stuff I had intended to. I had to go back.

As I entered the 711,

APU:  I changed them!

Apu gestures to the hotdog rack. True as his word, there sat 2 brand new frankfurts on the Warming Up section.

ME: Oh you shouldn't have done that, the other one was awesome.

APU: No no, when your friend said it wasn't suitable for consumption I knew I should change it.

I wonder how long it would have stayed there if we could have controlled ourselves.

Sep. 28, 2005 - Ewww

Oct. 11, 2005 - hahahahahah