Oct. 4, 2005 - A Party Pie Pete Tale.

My brother's best friend is called Pete. My friends and I call him, Party Pie Pete because like party pies, everybody loves Pete (except for this one girl from New Zealand but she was weird and annoying).

Party Pie Pete has recently returned from a trip to London and Europe to visit his little brother and some friends. While over there, he partook in some rather large, hedonistic and hazy weekends. One tale of Party Pie Pete's seemed to be one worth noting in my blog.

As the evening at a private party in a nightclub started to draw to a close, there was a consensual word going around that this party should move to the next stage, a recovery/kick on. But whose place were they to go to? Well it just so happened that one guy, Tom knew most of the people at the party so invited them back to his place. Tom lived with his little brother, Pat, who did not know most of the people at the party.

So Tom and Pat head home to prepare for the ten or so people who were due to arrive momentarily. This task seemed to tire old Tom out, so he headed to bed. 'Oh awesome', thought Pat.

The first group arrived- 6 people. The second group arrived- 8 people. The third group arrived- 3 people (Pat's friends). The fourth group arrived- 6 people. The fifth group arrived- 5 people (including Party Pie Pete).

Pete walked into a living room. All windows closed, one door leading out of the room, 27 people and about 5 spliffs being passed around. It was a hell of a duchie.

The sixth group arrived- 7 people (including the fellow of note, Joobs). Now Joobs who was a once seasoned clubber, decided about 12months earlier to calm things down a little. This just happened to be his first time back in the clubbing game. He had managed to get himself in all sorts at the nightclub to a point where he was a bit of a mess, in every sense of the word. Joobs stumbled in. Joobs tried to speak. Joobs could barely muster some incomprehensible slurs and gurgles. Joobs sits himself on the floor in front of some people on a couch and in front of the coffee table. One of his friends has just rolled a mother of a doobie and being a good sport, decides to pass it along to his friend, Joobs (with the intentions of it joining the room's joint circuit).

Joobs has a toke. Exhales. Joobs has another toke. Exhales. The person next to Joobs sees that two tokes have been had, sits up and looks at Joobs expectantly. Joobs has another toke. Exhales. Joobs has another toke. Exhales. The crowd are baffled as Joobs (easily the most intoxicated person there) smokes his way through this enormous spliff making a hearty contribution to the mary-jane clowds swirling above.

Joobs stubs out the spliff sits back and is rather pleased with himself.

The seventh group arrives- 3 people. One of whom was generous enough to bring a bottle of vodka. The newcomers wedge themselves on the floor nearby Joobs and pour a drink or two of vodka. Joobs seems a little more alert,

"Chuun ooi heef sorm?" Joobs mutters to one of the newcomers

"What?"

"Can oii heef sarm?"

"Can you have some?"

"Yesh!"

"Umm do you really think you need it"

Joobs looks unimpressed at the girl so she slides her bottle of vodka across the coffee table with a tumbler close behind it. Joobs slowly unscrews the lid, raises the base of the bottle and with nearly 100% precision, fills the glass til its almost full. He lifts the glass towards his mouth as a few people nearby notice and remain silent in sheer amazement. Joobs downs the glass of vodka and tops it off with a satisfying burp. Joobs reaches for the vodka bottle again. Raises the base and proceeds to fill the glass again

"Ahh man, don't you think you have had enough. You're pretty wasted"

Joobs shoots the speaker an unimpressed glare. The speaker is silenced. Joobs picks up the glass. Downs half of it, takes a breath and polishes off the second half. Joobs sits back content for a moment with his glass in hand. About two thirds of the room are now aware of Joobs and his actions. Joobs, who is completely unaware of the entire room raises himself to the coffee table, places his glass down, raises the base of the vodka bottle and pours the remaining vodka into the glass and skulls it.. Happy as a pig in shit, he sits back, closes his eyes and mutters to himself for the next ten minutes.

Party Pie Pete is feeling himself wearing, as are the rest of his little clan. They decide to the leave the clouded room and head back to one of their places. Joobs is a friend of a friend of Party Pie Pete, so he departs in toe.

Refreshed to be outside, the clan begin the (normally) 15minute walk home. They take a left and a right, turn around and see Joobs lying down in a gutter. One of the boys turns around and paces towards Joobs. After some oneway conversation and physical assistance, Joobs raises himself from the gutter and continues to follow the small throng. About 10minutes later the group become aware that once again, they are missing Joobs. They look down the small street they are on. No Joobs. So another of the lads retracts, looks down the next street and finds Joobs rummaging through a letter box with an upturned garbage bin nearby. He collects Joobs and returns to the group. After losing Joobs another time the group take turns in watching, guiding and helping Joobs in remaining verticle and forward-moving.

After 25minutes of walking, the group are happy to be seated in their clean living room. Joobs takes his position in between the couch and the coffee table. He soon begins to appear thirsty. Joobs spies a fish tank in the shape of an oversized glass (about 40cm in length with a 20cm diametre) with the inhabitants comprising of two goldfish, a frog, some slimey rocks, some reeds and some floating faeces.

The group who have learned to be weary of Joobs see that he is getting thirsty and see that he has spotted the large container of water (and fish and reeds and poo).

"Joobs, we're going to get you some water ok? DON'T DRINK FROM THE FISH TANK"

Joobs looks at them. They get him a glass of water. He takes it, drinks it and sits back. After several minutes, he looks wantingly at the fish tank.

"Joobs, we will get you some more water. DON'T DRINK FROM THE FISH TANK".

They get him another glass of water. He picks up the glass, looks at it and puts it back down. He lifts himself onto two knees, grasps the top of the tank and tilts it towards his mouth.

The group watch in astonishment as Joobs with his eyes closed, slowly drinks the better part of the water. He lowers the fish tank to its original position, turns sideways and curls himself up into a foetal position where he stays sleeping for the next couple of hours.

The group start to laugh as they stare at the half empty fish tank.

Oct. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Oct. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Oct. 4, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Oct. 5, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Oct. 11, 2005 - LOL!