Oct. 24, 2005 - Little turds.
Last night my parents (who are back from Europe- HOORAY!) were telling me how kid's parties are the longest three hours of your life. There would always be a child who had to chuck a tanty. Or a kid who would chuck. Or the little turd, who on winning pass-the-parcel discovers their prize is bubble gum and loudly proclaims "I HATE BUBBLE GUM. WHAT ARE WE PLAYING NOW?" Or when Mum, proudly presents to the kids her traffic light jelly that has taken her hours to make. Three separate levels of different flavours!
"So boys, do you like the jelly?" there is a pause, the jury look from one to the other, one boy turns to Mum,
"Nah it tastes like dogshit" followed by a chorus
"Yeah dogshit!"
"It tastes like dogshit".
Mum and Dad also described how they had hired a mini-van and were driving 15 angels to putt-putt golf for my brother's birthday. On the way there, they became aware from the front cab that the boys were in hysterics. At the lights Mum and Dad turned around to see a boy swinging from the handles yelling one word over and over again in time with his swinging.
"BOSOMS!!! BOSOMS!!! BOSOMS!!"
Kids really are little shits. When I was five my brother and I were watching TV. Probably some awesome 80's show like "It's a Knock Out", "The Main Event" or "Young Talent Time". My brother went to the toilet during the ad break and I decided to cover his spot on the couch with thumbtacks. I got a fairly decent smack for that one...
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