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Lissie's Blog

Jan. 16, 2006 - "Pity, I give a great blow job".

It's 9.15am on Thursday morning. Charlie adjusts his sunglasses as he waits patiently. The man in front of him collects his change and steps aside. Charlie steps forward to the counter,

"Good morning, Rob"

"Morning, Charlie! Largelatteonesugartakeaway?"

"Perfect".

Charlie hands over $3.70, steps to the side and joins the neatly scattered men in suits who are also waiting for their caffeine fix. He looks off to the right towards Town Hall and sees an army of grayscale suits with the occasional colourful accessory thrown in by the particularly daring. He looks to his left towards Hyde Park and notices a young man about one hundred metres away. He is charging forward with more determination than the cut-throat professionals swimming around the urban circuit and more swing in his hips than the head dancer at the Paris Moulin Rouge. Charlie looks straight ahead once more towards the caffeine-altar and notices a pretty woman ordering a coffee. Nice legs. Perfect ass. She turns around and looks right at him. Busted. He looks left again and realises the determined young man is making a hip-swinging-beeline straight for him. Now that he is considerably closer, Charlie scans the young man's ensemble:

Pink thongs with black toenails.

Ripped pale blue jeans with red shorts over the top of the jeans and a short frilly pink skirt over the top of the shorts.

A navy blazer with no shirt underneath.

A Hilton gift bag over his shoulder.

The man stops thirty centimetres short of Charlie unlike his breath which continues forward and rudely permeates Charlie's nostrils- a dank gust of Jack Daniels and ciggarettes.

"I want your sunglasses" the man purrs

"Ahh well sorry that's not going to happen," Charlie smiles politely

"I will give you a blow job for them".

The surrounding suits snicker.

"That's a tempting offer but I'm afraid they were a gift from my girlfriend and I'm really quite fond of them".

The suits steal a glance.

"Oooer cute, committed and funny," the man says flirtatiously. He notices Charlie looking at the Hilton bag "I was at the Hilton last night and got so fucking fucked! Honestly, we met some seriously cute boys and they had money. We went up to their room, powdered our noses and exchanged bodily fluids! Then we got more fucked and had some more drinks. It was a WILD night! So you're really not going to give me those sunglasses? Pity, I give a great blow job".

The suits chuckle once more.

"I'm sure you do but I'm really not interested".

"Oh the good ones are always straight".

The man's head darts up and he spots something in the distance. He begins to run in that direction, hips in full swing. Charlie follows the man with his eyes until he arrives at a young woman.....wearing sunglasses,

"LARGELATTEONESUGAR"

Charlie steps forward and collects his coffee. He spins and hurries to cross the street while the pedestrian symbol is still green. As he reaches the curb he hears a familiar voice call out

"AND YOU'VE GOT A GREAT ASS TOO!"

 

This actually happened to someone I know on Thursday morning. Certainly an interesting start to a day!


Jan. 17, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Optimus Rhyme
LOL, entertaining, but I really can't figure out what happened towards the end there...?? I'm a bit confused
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Jan. 17, 2006 - so random

Posted by psyv
hahahahaha that's fantastic... straight from a movie or something...
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Jan. 17, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by nettsu
god bless sydney *laughs*
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Jan. 17, 2006 - Excellent. A similar experience...

Posted by Gruso
It was 7am on a Sunday morning. I'd been at Kikkon, and was sitting outside waiting for my lift to arrive. In the distance, I hear "Daaahhling!". It came from a very skanky street dweller of about 25, whose annunciation was pinker and more grating than three Jeannie Littles. He was approaching a group of chest-bare lads that had just left Manacle. "Do you have any speeeed?" No, they didn't.

He continued up Campbell St in my direction. His next target was a group of neat and prim young ladies, who had just stepped out of an apartment well slept, fresh faced, and somewhat at odds with their surroundings. "Daaahhling! Do you have any speeeed?" They looked bewildered.

I saw what was coming next... I was directly in his path. And I was ready for him. Almost.

"Daaahhling!-"
"No, I don't."
"I'll suck your dick."

He'd thrown me a curve ball. Giving no hint that I had almost choked on his offer (ironically), I said "Best of luck with the next person," and smiled. He continued on. His cries of "Daaahhling!" continued down the street. I wonder how he went.






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Jan. 17, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by linesax
why, oh why can i not help but think your friend just met Palu?
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Jan. 17, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Profiler
are you normal? have you met Palu?
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Jan. 17, 2006 - Nipple-twist

Posted by seb roc
I got a nipple-twist from a guy as I was heading up a set of stairs to a bar while he was passing me going down. Didn't offer me a blowjob, tho. That's Melbourne for you.
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Jan. 27, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by spinaltapit
WTF? your blogs are shitta than mine. your the gurner of the year.
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Jan. 27, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Lissie
Yeah they're pretty much the same except that people actually read mine....
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