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Mar. 28, 2006 - The mentality of a withered old bitch.

Whilst in Laos, Amy, myself and our new found Pommy friends went to a Buddhist monastery and wandered around the grounds. We happened to go on a special day as they were celebrating the anniversary of Laotian Buddhist teachings. On arriving at the monastery, we were approached by two young monks. We soon introduced ourselves and found out they were both 17 and 19. They walked us around the grounds while telling us about their religion and the life of a monk. Amy was chatting more to the elder one, Billy* a little more. After quite some time there we all swapped email addresses. As it turns out, Billy* has been quite enthusiastic with his emailing to Amy and the other day, she confessed that she thought she could detect a little innuendo in his messages...which she found odd because 1. He's a monk  2. He's not far off moving up from Novice to the next level (momentary lapse and can't remember what that is) after being a monk for 4 years.  3. Amy and I were overly aware of being very respectful towards the monks. They are not allowed to touch women so we always made sure we kept plenty of distance and were mindful of what we discussed.

Tonight Amy got this email:

 

F**KEN READ THIS. I think this is getting out of hand..

Maybe monks DO in fact have sex

----- Forwarded message from XXXXXXX> -----

Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 04:53:03 +0100 (BST)

From: XXXXXX

Reply-To: XXXXXXX>

Subject: sabaydeeeeeeee

To: XXXXX

Dear. amy how are you and how's your parents? billy fine in laos. amy I think of you so much amy I just been finished took my exammination yesterday.

I hope that my letter will not make you waste your time I just want to tell you that I'm verry pensive you everyday andd would like to know if you are getting on well over there some times I feel bored and lonely as I have no relatives invientiane. whenever when I had read your letter in e-mail I feel as I am not alone amy I need you as leader of my life but it may be only just a dream because perhaps I'm not suitable to you who are from a well -to-do family with good education and good job in your country. I'm afraid that this incompatible back ground will make you change your mind and have some one who is more suitable to you. but one thing which I never forget you is that true love will always bring in true love. since we have known each other for many days

I don't know you ever think of love me or not? I promise that I'll make you agood life and dedicate my heart and soul to you only.

ok. let me end now<< always yours>>

best Billy*.

 

 

Now I'm starting to think that I'm a cynical old bitch because I've heard of quite an unsavoury situations whereby monks will pretend like they have fallen in love with women and in fact use them as sponsorship for a Visa overseas or to support their family. By the same token, western women have been known to be overly flirtacious with monks in order to make them break there oath as an ego boost. I find this so unbelievably disrespectful and horrible....the extremes that insecure people will go to....

Then today at uni, something rather strange happened....

I was pumping my 5'1'' little legs towards my lecture theatre (My friends and I had gotten a little too carried away with a conversation about porn and had forgotten the time....hence I was running late) and day dreaming about private matters when this guy suddenly says

"Hello!"  I look at the stranger and give him a semi-smile and say

"Hi," and keep walking

"I umm think I know you from a class last year"

"Really? I don't know you".

"OK well I don't really know you, I just wanted to say hello because I like your appearance and think you look cute"

"Ahh thanks,"  and I keep walking a little bit futher

"What are you studying?" he calls after me

"Business and I'm late for a class. Bye".

 

When I got to the lecture theatre I told my friends what happened and they were like "Was he cute?" ......I was completely shocked because TO ME I thought the whole situation was dripping wiht chloroform and the fast fading sun was not a sun...but a sinking rohypnol tablet.  Seriously, who the hell says that shit in a SOBER state in between buildings at university? Really, lines like that are only acceptable if there is some form of horse tranquiliser involved....

 

BUT, then again, I was forced to wonder whether I have turned into a withered up old bitch who will not give men the benefit of the doubt.....or are there just lots of dodgy fuckers out there?

 

 

In lighter news, yesterday my friend told me that she got wee'd on. She works as a nurse and was pulling up the sheets of an old man's bed when who should squirt all over her work shirt? Now while it dried quite quickly, the smell remained strong and adamant. She changed into some scrubs only to be bombarded with "what happened to your shirt, Kim?"

She also indulged me in a story about a birthday party she went to on the weekend. It was the 21st of a lovely guy who was very excited about introducing his cousin to his girlfriend of 6months. She had  been lying in his bedroom upstairs because she hadn't been feeling well, so the birthday boy decided to take his cousin up to meet her. On opening the door, he quickly closed it and said "You don't need to see that".

Nothing like finding your dirty slut of a girlfriend in bed rooting one of your mates! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

 

 

*These names are fictional incase it didn't occur to you that Billy isn't your typical name for a Laotian [read: you're a spaz].


Mar. 28, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by jgsmeaton
more likely, the fact that there are just lots of dodgy fuckers out there has turned into someone who will not give men the benefit of the doubt. i tend to think that cynicism is a pretty essential survival technique as long as it doesn't comsume you. we're not all bad but, to be fair, most men do seem to have questionable morals.
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Mar. 28, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Lissie
I think for every male with questionable morals, there is a female with equally slipping ethical standards.

Having said all that, its worthwhile noting that Amy is a fine piece of ass and the monk just might want to bone her like many other men......
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Mar. 29, 2006 - ass you say?

Posted by jgsmeaton
indeed, women too are evil. and a fine piece of ass is enough to make any monk drop his oranges, which is why i never became one. also i'd like to hang on to my hair as long as possible.

i do hear you meet some fine ass though, maybe i should consider a career change.
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Mar. 29, 2006 - my stories made your blog

Posted by kimbi
that was me everybody! that kim was ME =)
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