Latest Poem for Critique - Rough Draft

INSIDE THE BRAIN OF THE AFFLICTED

Crown of thorns upon my head

I wish it was, I wish I bled

These wounds of mine aren’t deep enough

I crave the pain, I need to suffer

Agony my ecstasy

The drug I need to let me live

Not pure evil

But blissful in hell

Fatally flawed and

Comfortably unwell

I seek the darkness

In spite of the light

I need to be hated

I need a plight

Morbid self-abuse is pusillanimous

Real pain can’t be manufactured

Only earned

And I’m not in the stratosphere

Of eternal purgatory

Not so much fucked in the head

But fucked of heart and soul

Self-pitying monologues are no recommendation

Even in the mind of the afflicted

The more it hurts

The better it feels

The deeper the cut

The longer to heal

Physical proof

Of my mind’s pain

I need to see

Else go insane

I need that reference

I need to sight

Those jagged scars

That puncture my night

Torment suffered

But more dished out

My barbed-wire evilness

Will evilness sprout

No blood from a stone

From a stone wound you bleed

With glass-houses shattered

I’ve festered my greed

Greed for self

Greed for pain

Live to bleed

Bleed to stain