Google dictionary and I have great relationship. It is my oracle... my visionary. Answering even the stupidest of questions, misspelt or not, Google never judges me.

My relationship with Google is also exclusive. I don't do Yahoo... have never messed around with ninemsn and wouldn't touch HotBot in my darkest, most desperate of hours.

I trust Google. It has never failed me, is there whenever I need it and most importantly:

Google doesn't argue -

it just does.

I'm a big fan of google dictionary. For example, I ask it to "define: carp".

Google tells me that it is the 'lean flesh of a fish', a 'freshwater fish' and 'symbol of great aspirations and strength'.

For lack of better expression, Google always seems to be there. To filter through profanity and poor use of slang, instead of calling someone a "sl*t", Google suggests we call her a 'dirty untidy woman', a 'woman adulterer' or 'a pejorative term for a person (usually female) who is more sexually promiscuous than is socially acceptable'.

And let's face it.... in those self-doubting moments... where you feel a little lost, insignificant, or even like a small carp in a big sea;

you can always google yourself.

In today's society, which is one of upheaveal, cheap thrills and even cheaper broadband, women spend alot of time exchanging funny/unfunny jokes about the stupidity of men:

What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.

 

Why do men like smart women?

Opposites attract

 

How does a man show that he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one

It's an accepted trade-off. They have porn, we have jokes about the size of their respective bodily organs to chuckle over, and forward at their expense.

To me, jokes about men and blondes aren't all that funny. I guess you could say i'm a realist...

you're only as dumb as the hair colour you're born with...

and only as bad as the man that you grope.

Sure, men are simple. But so is google.... and to be honest...

i think simple is good.

As I am growing, in both cupsize and age, I am compelled towards the more simple things in life. A straightforward request, an honest answer and simple rebut. I'm tired of complications... longwinded drama's... drawn out breaths and too many fullstops.................

all I want in life, is to call a spade a spade.

So thanks Google. For being there when reason, rationality and effort is not. For giving me the answer to life's little questions, and guiding me where text books, 3 hour lectures and pretencious academics may not.

V