When i was a kid, it was a compliment to have a 'big brain'. The suggestion was (all them years ago) that a big 'big brain' was indicative of a smart brain.

Then in Year 4, I heard this story about a crazy weird friend of my Dad's whose brain was too big. Rumour had it; his brain had swelled.

I became confused... as my young imagination morphed into this Roald Dahl fantasy world. One with giant peaches and strange, androgynous chocolate factory owners who reminded me of Michael Jackson.  

I pictured my Dad's friend. This ugly, mean little bald man with a huge forehead;  wearing a glazed look in his eyes and a man-sized nappy as he clapped along to seasame street while eating vegemite soldiers.

It did not make sense:

how could a big brain be bad?

Of course, my Dad's friend turned out alright in the end. His once gargantuous brain soon shrivelled back down to size, although in the process, the stress on his poor wife caused her ass to inflate.... and presumbley his other bodily organs shrivelled as well. 

For as I once overheard her say...

"I'm allergic to chocolate -

it makes my bum swell"

Anywayyyyy, exam time is near and brains are beggining to EXPLODE!! So much to learn... to understand. My poor brain is like an undersized, yapping poodle on heat;

overstimulated.

All I think about is law. Donaghue v Stevenson... Natural Justice...Exceptions to Hearsay. Prerogative Writs... Consumer Protection and Indefeasible Title. My boyfriend tells me...

"Nasty...

get your gear off...." *hahahha*

OOPS! I mean:

"Nasty....

switch your brain off"

And I can't... and I wouldn't. Until just recently... I figured out how to make it all better;

Stupidification.

A short, sharp indulgence in trash TV.

You see, intellect is relative. It's not about whose brain is bigger... whose bum is bigger... whose *ahem* is bigger. It's about weight - how much importance you give to an assigned subject matter.

A good lawyer is no smarter than a good mechanic... or a good hairdresser... or a good Nurse. So when I decide to 'stupidify' myself, it's not to the detriment of anyone except some crazy toothless woman with 1 poor child and 10 potential fathers:

"Tyrone... you are NOT the father"

That's where trash TV comes in. It deflates what is ordinarily an overflated brain by throwing in a couple of f*words and a big, 'junk-in-your-trunk' sized dose of reality to unclog the pores of pretension.

Trash TV = the poor woman's pilates.

"the lie detector test determined... that was a lie"

Your friend, Nasty.