It's desperate times and desperate measures when you're called upon to co-ordinate the hen's night of a very wild woman.

In the past, like most girls, I'd seen "The Wedding Planner" and thought (for a brief, goon-induced moment) that I too could pull a J-Lo and become a wedding planner.

Then I saw "Maid in Manhatten" and considered a career in the hotel industry. Hanging out with my hoochy sister's in the upper-west-side of Manhatten's plushest hotels -  making beds and later lying in them with Ralph Fiennes and other likminded patrons.

Oh - and who can forget the time I revisisted my childhood home on Owen Dixon Drive in Evatt?? Later putting pen to paper to write a song whose gist was, no matter how rich I become, how many men I marry and how many rocks that I got:

I'm still Nasty from the small house with a blown up letterbox on the wrong side of the block.

Anyway, I was recently called upon to colloborate a series of ideas for my big sister's, best friend's, hen's night.

I was blown away.

Moi?

Organising the pre-martail soiree of a post-mix party girl?

I wondered what it was. My suberb organisational skills?... my eye for detail?... my penchant for the finer things in life?

Nope.

It seemed that, no matter how succesful this 30-something year old friend had become - with her personal wealth, beauty and well-to-do investments:

the ex St Clares girl wanted one last dabble in debauchery.

So my sister called me.

Anyway, tearing myself away from the Evidence Act to write this blog, I was surprised to discover the hen's night would be held in canberra... and even more surprised when I found out that Canberra, the porn capital of the country, with legalised brothells, plenty o'adult shops and limestone lizzy:  

only had 1 male stripper.

Not 2... or even 1.5... but 1 guy named 'Covy' who my sources tell me,

services the Goulburn region as well.

It got me thinking about Canberra, and I guess the overall lifestyle of those who reside here. With our bustling public service and senate estimates hearings. All the roundabouts that seperate Gungahlin from Belconnen and that huge stretch of no-man's land between Tuggeranong and everywhere else. (quarantine??).

Of all the people, all the porn and all the cocky, smug, self-serving men:

we only have 1 stripper;

and he's old.

So, for all the guys reading this, if you're from Canberra or even our esteemed neighbour, Queanbeyan... I beg you to consider a career change; to dismantle Covy's monopoly in the market of hen's night stripping and give crazy, pre-marital drunk women more confidence in their economy.

Get your sexy on -

Nasty.