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| “Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.” Paris Hilton. |
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Ho Ho Ho - Merry Christmas...!!! How was your 25 December? Did you cop a grope under the mistletoe? See Mummy kissing Santa Claus? Oh how i love Christmas! That festive, joyous time of celebration. The 1 night of the year that Mrs Claus relaxes her proverbial thumb and allows Santa to globetrot around the world - frolocking in and out of people's lounge rooms swelling gallons of full cream milk and gorging on choc-chip cookies much to her discontent. The 1 night of the year that she won't be getting a tap on the shoulder !!  I love Christmas, but it comes at a price. I call it 'pay by the kilo' - the risky business indulging in mountains of good food only to return to work on 2 January, remourseful, bloated and 2kgs heavier. While many people break diets over Christmas, for Jenny Craig & other likeminded ex-fatty's, the fun is just beggining!! Piggy's the world over will be weighing up their options - pressured into dieting by New Years Resolutions - many people will be thinking about ways in which to shed that extra kilo or nine. That's where the Iraeli Army Diet comes in... On Boxing Day, a sexy woman called Marnie and her husband, Nicky Mayhem, celebrated 'Festivus for the Rest-of-us'. Inspired by the comic genius of Seinfield, festivus is a way of gathering in the name of food, fun and good company to talk about anything and everthing. To relax and leave your troubles behind. So on the topic of behinds, I found myself priivy to a discussion about a 1970's diet called the 'Israeli Army Diet'. It was popularised when Ita Buttrose was perky and elbow pads were to suits, what Britney is to NW magazine. Essential. Now, the diet is (i assure you), completely effective! Lost in the cracks of time time, thanks to Atkins, Lite'n'Easy and that crazy milkshake diet, the Israeli Army Diet is as follows:
why hasn't Oprah let on? When I heard about this diet, it made me realise that even in the 70's, women were still nuts!! I thought our craziness had something to do with the Spice Girls breaking up or Lee Lin Chin's hair... never in a million years did I expect that Ita Buttrose herself would advocate such lunacy. As for me, I reckon I may have gained a little Christmas pudding on the side. But so what? With a few early morning runs and a number of carb free dinners, i'll be back on sexy-track in the no time. All it will take is sweat, hard work, and hairy chested, half naked personal trainer chasing me around the beaten track of doom. Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub; Nasty. | ||
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