Today is the day I sold my soul on ebay.

Of course, it is neither the first nor the last time I will pimp out items of clothing that have been used, abused, squeezed, popped and fumbled by mine and other awkward fingers in an effort to tighten or remove these pre-loved wares

Selling clothes on Ebay is hard for me - somewhat demoralising and strangely perverse. It brings out my inner-pimp - that part of me which is willing to say just about anything to earn a quick buck.

"Wanna look HOT this summer??!!"

"Be SEXY and know it!!"

"Will wash windows for small change"

Hahaha.

Before I pimp my clothes, I take the time to groom them for the hundreds of probing eyes which will soon be coming their way.

I wash them, press them; give them a little nip/tuck and carefully eye them off, both front and back, in view of their one big moment:

the photo shoot - the inevitable moment they have long dreaded; once leaving the clothing store in my posession, at full retail price, only to be worn by me and paraded about town - then so crushingly under-valued and placed on the internet, squashed into a stuffy $1.20 envelope and sent to the otherside of Australia to be worn again by Nannas and MILF's the town over.

Fare well, fare wares:

It's been a blast.

EBAY has its' good points and its' bad -

For starters, it's time consuming. Uploading the items and having to advertise them means each item takes about 2 minutes to fiddle around with and type silly little quips to get people's attention.

"Smokin' HOT size 7 heels - set the dance floor on fire!"

Further - it's hard to take nice photo's that really do the clothes justice . In the absence of skilled photographers like Annie Liebowitz or the lady who squashes babies into pumpkins and loaves of bread, it's actually quite a task.

"OK skimpy, somewhat reveleaing Alannah Hill slip - show me SEXY... that's it honey... don't hang aimlessly from the wooden hanger... give me RAUNCHY.. give me that come hither hem that you gave me 6 months ago on that wild night in Civic"

Shame, shame, shame.

On the plus side? EBAY is a money-maker. I have tonnes of clothing and would rather not give a $200 dress to charity (sorry guys) without making some kind of return - besides the obvious wolf-whistle, fabulous night out and smoking hot boyfriend.

Don't get me wrong - giving to charity and throwing a bone to the fashion deprived is a kind and honourable act of human kindness.

In addition to this, if you are somewhat business saavy and have a hint of spare time, you will visit your local second-hand store - scope out the cheap, mint condition label items - and sell them on ebay for FOUR TIMES the price!

I once sold a $9 dress from Vinnies on ebay for $120 ... fiddle-dee-dee.

So, my online friends, I must depart! To leave this website for one much bigger, bolder, and a portfolio of accumulated listing fees the size of a small mortgage

If it ain't broke? then sell it on ebay.

Your gal, Nasty.